Personal Space
IN THIS LESSON
Understanding personal space
Ever had that experience where your child is practically glued to another person, oblivious to the squirming or uncomfortable expression of their “new friend”? Teaching personal space can feel like an uphill battle.
I recall a playdate where my friend’s daughter was nose-to-nose with her playmate the entire time – the other child kept edging away, and hers kept closing the gap. Neither was being “bad”; one just didn’t understand the unwritten rule about personal space.
For neurodivergent individuals, understanding personal space is often challenging, but it’s a crucial social skill. The beautiful thing is, with visual and concrete teaching methods (and a lot of patience), our loved ones can learn to navigate the world without accidentally crowding others – all while still getting the closeness or distance they personally need.
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Why This Behavior May Occur
Personal space – that invisible comfort bubble – is a vague concept, which makes it tricky for many neurodivergent folks. Autistic children might not pick up on the subtle cues that they’re too close (like someone stepping back or turning away).
They aren’t being intentionally intrusive; they literally may not sense the boundary in the same way. Neurologically, the social cue processing that tells most people “oops, I’m too close” might not fire for them.
💡Additionally, some ND individuals have differences in proprioception (body awareness), meaning they might not accurately judge physical distance. It’s the same reason some kids bump into things frequently – spacing is just hard for them to gauge.
Another factor is seeking connection or sensory input. A child who constantly wants to be near others might be craving the comfort of physical presence or pressure. They might hover or lean on people because it’s calming.
Conversely, some may invade space because they’re hyper-focused on something (like peering closely at a friend’s toy, forgetting the friend is attached to the other end of it!). ADHD impulsivity can also contribute; an ADHD child might impulsively dart right up to someone to share an idea, not meaning to startle them.
And let’s remember, cultural and individual differences exist – some people, even kids, are just “close talkers” or touchy-feely by nature, and a neurodivergent child might not adapt to societal norms around that without direct teaching.
Crucially, none of this is because they don’t care about others. Often, they are unaware or seeking an outcome (like comfort, attention, or sensory stimulation) in a less typical way. Recognizing these reasons helps guide our approach: it’s about teaching a social convention and sometimes accommodating sensory needs, rather than disciplining “rudeness.”
