Touching and Grabbing
Skill-Building Strategies
To reduce inappropriate touching in the long run, we need to teach about boundaries and fulfilling sensory needs appropriately.
💡One fundamental skill is understanding personal boundaries: that each person has an invisible bubble of personal space.
Practice this concept in a concrete way. For young kids, play a game with a hula hoop or a jump rope laid in a circle – this represents their personal space bubble. Have them stand in it and practice how far away someone else should stand.
You can also use visual aids like colored tape on the floor to show where to stand during routines (e.g., a piece of tape to stand behind when waiting in line, so they don’t end up glued to the person in front).
These visual markers help the child learn where their personal space begins and ends. Another fun activity is the “bubble of space” game: blow bubbles and tell your child not to let any bubble touch them or others – it’s a playful way to illustrate staying at a slight distance.
Role-playing is extremely effective too
💡 Rehearse common scenarios: how to greet a friend (maybe a high-five instead of an overpowering hug), how to ask before touching something that’s not yours, or what to do when you feel like pinching.
Through role-play, your child can make mistakes in a safe setting and learn the correct response. For instance, act out that you are a classmate and your child really wants that classmate’s pencil – practice asking “Can I see that?” instead of grabbing.
Swap roles and let your child be the person who has to respond, so they also learn how it feels when someone invades their space.
💡Social stories can reinforce these lessons by describing in first-person narrative how to behave. A simple social story about “Keeping My Hands to Myself” might say: “Sometimes I feel like touching things or people.
I will try to keep my hands to myself unless I have permission. This makes people happy and they feel safe around me.” You can include pictures of your child demonstrating good behavior for extra engagement.
We should also address the sensory needs underlying touching behaviors. Incorporate plenty of safe touch experiences throughout the day so your child isn’t starved for sensory input. This can be as simple as scheduled sensory play sessions: playdough time, a textured sensory bin, or a big pillow for squeezing.
Occupational therapy techniques like brushing or weighted blankets can help if guided by a professional. At home, a “sensory diet” (a routine plan of sensory activities) can greatly reduce random seeking. For a child who loves deep pressure, for example, give them bear hugs at home (on their terms) or try a compression vest if recommended.
Replace inappropriate behaviors with appropriate ones: teach that if they want to touch someone, they can ask or offer a high-five. If they tend to grab items off shelves, make a rule like “hands in pockets or on cart when we’re in the store,” and practice it consistently – even turn it into a marching game while holding the cart. Over time, these practiced skills become more automatic.
