Personal Space
Preventative Strategies (Pre-Teaching & Environment Prep)
To preempt personal space issues, prep your child ahead of social interactions. Before going into a new or stimulating environment (a birthday party, a crowded event, first day of class), quickly review the personal space game plan.
💬For example: “Remember, at the party, everyone will be playing. Keep an arm’s length unless you’re playing a game like tag that needs you to be close. If you’re not sure, just ask, ‘Can I play with you?’ instead of jumping in.”
Giving them a script is helpful because it replaces the impulsive action with a planned phrase. If your child has a history of clinging to certain people, you can even give those people a heads-up and maybe arm your child with something else to hold onto (like a stress ball or a fidget) during interactions.
Visual reminders in the environment can also prevent issues. Maybe have a little “Remember personal space” card in your child’s pocket or on their desk. Sometimes teachers use footprint stickers on the floor to show kids where to stand in line – ask if that’s possible if line crowding is a problem at school.
At home during playdates, set up play stations or zones, so there’s a natural spacing (like “you play with blocks on this mat, your friend on that mat”). Structuring the environment like this can reduce incidental crowding.
If sensory needs drive the behavior, prevention also means meeting those needs in advance. If you know your child seeks deep pressure or hugs, give them a big bear hug or have a pillow fight before the social gathering, so they’re less likely to tackle-hug a peer. If they lean on people when tired, make sure they get rest or a snack to recharge before expecting them to stand independently next to others.
Sometimes, assigning a safe person or object can help. For instance, in a new environment, have your child stand next to a trusted friend or sibling who can gently remind them to back up if needed. Or let them bring a small stuffed “buddy” to stand with – if they start invading someone’s space, you can say, “Oh, your buddy needs space,” which indirectly cues your child.
Pre-teaching can also involve social scripting: rehearse what to do if someone says “You’re too close” or steps away. This prepares the child not to take it personally but to adjust.
💬Also discuss upcoming changes: “We’re going to the movie theater; people like a seat or two between strangers. We’ll practice sitting with a gap.” This level of detail can seem overkill, but neurodivergent kids often thrive on knowing exactly what to expect and what’s expected.
