Personal Space
Immediate Response Strategies
When you notice your child is in someone’s personal space right now, step in tactfully. Cue them to step back in a non-embarrassing way.
💬 One simple method is a quick code word or phrase – for instance, saying “Space” or “Bubble” can be a private signal between you and your child that they need to give room. I often gently place a hand on my child’s shoulder (to get their attention) and say, “Give Sam some space, please,” while also motioning with my hands spreading apart.
💬 If the child doesn’t respond to a verbal cue (which can happen if they’re younger or very engrossed), you can physically guide them: for example, “Oops, let’s take a big step back,” and playfully take a step with them. Turning it into a little game (“let’s see if we can stretch our arms out like airplane wings without touching anyone – that means we’re at a good distance”) can immediately create the space.
It’s important to also respect your child’s sensory needs in that moment. If they are clinging or very close because they’re anxious, address the anxiety as you create space.
💬 For example: “I know you like being close. How about you hold my hand instead?” – this gives them some physical contact or grounding but removes them from invading someone else’s space.
💬 If they were right up in another child’s face, you might apologize to the other child and distract your child to a different activity momentarily, “Come help me over here for a second,” to break the pattern.
Stay calm and avoid sounding scolding in public; you want to save your child the embarrassment and just gently enforce the boundary. After creating a bit of distance, you can quietly praise your child for complying (“Thank you for giving space!”) which reinforces the action you want.
💬 If the personal space issue leads to conflict (say another child gets upset at being crowded), model conflict resolution: “I think Ali feels uncomfortable. Let’s remember our personal space,” and encourage a brief apology or wave (whichever is appropriate for the child’s skills).
The immediate goal is to gracefully put some space between your child and others without making it a huge deal, allowing social interaction to continue more comfortably.
