Personal Space
Key Strategies to Remember
Make It Visual
Turn the abstract idea of personal space into something visible or tangible – tape on floor, hula hoop, “personal space bubble” metaphors. Seeing it helps them understand it.
Practice and Role-Play
Don’t wait for real-life mistakes only. Proactively role-play situations at home so your child can rehearse keeping distance and recognize cues. This builds muscle memory for social scenarios.
Use Simple Reminders
Agree on a cue word or sign that you can use anytime to signal “check your space.” This prevents the need for a lecture every time and lets the child self-correct.
Address Underlying Needs
If your child invades space for sensory reasons or anxiety, meet those needs (through sensory activities, or giving them a fidget to hold) so the urge to cling or crowd is lessened.
Consistency Across Settings
Personal space rules should be consistent. If you allow climbing all over mom and dad at home (which can be okay in play), clarify that outside the home, the rules differ.
Perhaps create a distinction: “At home with family, some closeness is okay; with others, we always ask.” Make sure any caregivers or teachers are reinforcing similarly, so the child isn’t confused by mixed messages.
Helpful Tips
Teach Greetings and Goodbyes:
Often personal space issues happen during greetings (big hugs) or goodbyes. Practice alternatives like waves, fist bumps, or side hugs.
Normalize that different people like different types of greetings. Have a “greeting chart” with pictures: Grandma likes hugs, new friends get high-fives, etc., so your child can visually remember who gets what.
Respect Their Space Too:
Show your child that you respect personal space as well. Ask “May I give you a hug?” and respect if they say no. This models the very behavior you want them to use with others – asking permission for entering someone’s space. It also empowers them to value and understand the concept of boundaries.
Use Video Modeling:
If available, show short videos of kids interacting appropriately. Pause and point out, “See how they’re standing about an arm’s length apart while talking? They look comfortable.” Some kids learn well from mimicking things they see on screen (there are even specific video modeling resources for social skills).
Be Patient and Celebrate Warmth:
Some neurodivergent individuals naturally have less sense of personal space, but that often comes from a place of innocence and warmth. While we teach them the social norms for their own success, we can also quietly appreciate that openness.
It’s a balancing act – you want them to succeed socially, but you don’t want to squash their affectionate nature. So correct gently and celebrate when they appropriately show affection (like “I loved that you asked your friend if they wanted a hug first!”).
Safety Note:
As kids grow, understanding personal space also becomes a safety issue (to prevent them from being taken advantage of or accidentally offending someone).
Frame it not just as a rule but as something that keeps everyone feeling safe. Sometimes explaining, “We keep personal space so everyone feels comfortable and safe,” gives the rule more weight in the child’s mind.
External Resources
And Next Comes L – Personal Space Social Stories: A collection of free social stories about personal space andnextcomesl.com is available on this parenting blog. These printable or video social stories can reinforce the concept through simple language and visuals – great for kids who benefit from repetitive story-based learning.
Mastermind Behavior – Personal Space Tools: The article “Teaching Appropriate Boundaries and Personal Space to Children with Autism” (Mastermind Behavior) provides a deep dive into methods like visual aids (carpet squares, chalk circles) and concentric circle activities to teach differing levels of personal space. It’s a practical guide for parents and therapists alike.
Autism Parenting Magazine – Social Skills and Boundaries: They offer guides on using social stories and role-play to teach boundaries. One such resource discusses how stories by Carol Gray can illustrate where to stand and how to express needs for space in relatable ways.
“Personal Space Camp” by Julia Cook (Book): This children’s book isn’t a website, but it’s worth mentioning – it’s a humorous story specifically about a child learning personal space. It comes with activities and can be an external tool you use at home to augment your lessons.
National Autistic Society (UK) – Obsessions and Repetitive Behaviors: While focused on autism, their guide touches on helping individuals understand social rules and modify the environment, which can include personal space issues. It reinforces strategies like visual supports and pre-planning for social situations – aligning well with what we’ve discussed here.