Practice Makes Progress: Teaching Personal Space as a Skill

Skill-Building Strategies

Teaching personal space takes creative, hands-on practice. One great strategy is using visual boundaries.

💡For example, at home or in class, you can put two pieces of tape on the floor a certain distance apart and practice conversations where each person stands on a tape mark.

This provides a concrete reference for how far apart people generally stand. Similarly, hula hoops or jump ropes circled on the floor (as mentioned earlier) can be “personal space bubbles” during play practice – your child stands in one, you stand in another, and you role-play talking. If they step out, gently remind them to stay in their hoop.

Over time, they internalize roughly that distance. There’s also a known teaching tool called the “arms-length rule”: have your child stretch their arm out – they shouldn’t be able to easily touch the other person.

Social stories specifically about personal space are extremely useful. These short stories describe situations and appropriate behavior in first person.

💡A personal space social story might say: “Sometimes I stand too close to people and it makes them uncomfortable. I can practice leaving an arm’s length of space. My friends will feel happy when I give them space.”

By reading this story regularly, the concept will be reinforced in your child’s mind. Many social stories include pictures or simple illustrations showing two people with a gap between – those visuals stick with visual learners. You could even make a personalized one with photos of your child demonstrating good spacing with family members.

Role-playing and structured playdates can give practice in a controlled way.

💡Set up a scenario: “Pretend we’re meeting for the first time” or “Pretend I’m busy writing, how do you get my attention?” and practice not coming right up in the pretend person’s face. Use a favorite stuffed animal to demonstrate: have the toy violate personal space and have your child teach the toy to step back – teaching someone else often helps kids remember to do it themselves!

For older kids or those who can handle more abstract ideas, talk about different levels of personal space depending on the relationship. One common framework is the “circles of relationships” diagram: you draw concentric circles and label from inner to outer – family in the innermost (hugs and close contact are okay), friends in the next (high-fives, maybe side hugs), classmates, acquaintances further out (handshakes or waves), and strangers in the far circle (no touching, keep more distance).

💡This visual map can help them gauge what’s appropriate. It’s also helpful to explicitly teach social cues that someone is uncomfortable: say, “If you see someone lean back, step away, or if they put their hands up or look away, that means you might be too close.” You can even practice reading these cues by looking at pictures or videos of people interacting and asking your child, “Do they look comfortable or uncomfortable?”

Don’t forget to practice when they need personal space too. Some neurodivergent kids also struggle with asserting their own boundaries.

💬So role-play saying “Please stop, I need some space” if someone is too close to them. This empowers them and also reinforces the general concept of personal space from both sides.