Blurting Out & Inappropriate Language
Skill-Building Strategies
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Skill-Building Strategies *
Helping neurodivergent individuals filter their speech takes time and practice. One effective approach is teaching empathy and perspective-taking. Often, kids blurt out the truth as they see it; we can guide them to consider others’ feelings.
Try discussing scenarios when they felt hurt by someone’s words.
💡Ask: “Remember when a friend said something mean to you – how did you feel?” By relating it back, you help them connect emotions to words.
🤸Then, role-play together: practice alternative phrases or a “better way” to say the thought. For example, if your child tends to say, “This food is gross,” practice saying, “No thank you, I don’t like this” in a polite tone.
Make it fun – role-play both the polite and an over-the-top “rude” version so they can clearly see the difference (and maybe share a laugh, which keeps it light).
Another skill is impulse control techniques. Teach your child a simple mental check before speaking – some families use the acronym “WAIT” (Why Am I Talking?) or a rule like “think it in your head first.”
For kids who can write or draw, encourage them to write down thoughts they’re bursting to say. This “parking lot” for ideas can be a notepad or even a small whiteboard. Later, you review the notes and praise them for writing instead of blurting.
Social stories can also help – these are short, personalized stories that illustrate appropriate interactions. A social story about “Using Kind Words” or “Waiting My Turn to Speak” can reinforce lessons in a visual, concrete way. If the inappropriate language is due to lack of understanding (e.g., swearing without knowing the impact), have a calm teaching conversation about those words.
💡Explain, for instance, that certain words hurt others or are not allowed at school. Keep explanations simple and age-appropriate – neurodivergent kids may not intuit the social weight of words without being taught explicitly why they matter.
Importantly, practice self-regulation skills related to blurting. This can include mindfulness exercises (to slow down impulsive reactions) and cueing strategies. A popular exercise is to practice “bite your tongue” – literally. In a playful way, challenge your child to gently hold their tongue with their teeth when someone else is talking, just to practice not interjecting.
Or practice counting to 5 before responding. These little games build the muscle of inhibition over time. Celebrate small successes: if your kid stopped themselves mid-blurt and rephrased, acknowledge that effort big time!
Reinforcement and Tracking Ideas
Positive reinforcement can accelerate progress. Consider creating a “Think Before You Speak” chart or token system.
For instance, each day that your child manages to avoid any major blurting at school, they earn a token or sticker. After a certain number of tokens, they get a reward (like choosing a Friday family movie or an extra 15 minutes of game time). Make sure the goals are realistic – maybe start with a shorter interval (earn a point for each class period without calling out).
⏳Visual counters can be very effective. One teacher used an abacus on the student’s desk, silently sliding a bead for each interruption – the student could see the count and work to keep it low.
At home, you could mimic this with a jar and some marbles: begin each morning with a few marbles in a jar, and remove one quietly when an impulsive outburst happens (or add one for each hour of restraint, if you prefer a positive framing). Tie these marbles to a daily small reward or privilege.
Another idea inspired by an ADHD parenting tip is the “blurting budget”. Give your child a token economy: perhaps 5 tokens each day that represent allowed impulsive comments. Each time they blurt, a token is removed (no big scolding, just a visual cue). Whatever tokens remain at the end of the day convert to a reward (or points toward one).
Some parents flip this to all-positive: start with zero and earn tokens for each successful polite interaction or each time they remember to raise their hand instead of shouting out.
Find what motivates your child – praise and tangible rewards go a long way. Keep track of progress in a simple log or journal. Note situations that went well and those that didn’t. Over time, this tracking can reveal patterns (maybe mornings are harder, or blurting spikes when routines change – useful info for prevention).