IN THIS LESSON

ADHD and Me

ADHD, or Attention-Deficit/Hyperactivity Disorder, is more than just “being hyper” or “not listening.” It’s a neurodevelopmental condition that affects the way the brain grows and processes information. As a fellow parent, I understand how confusing and overwhelming an ADHD diagnosis can feel. Rest assured, you’re not alone.

Millions of families navigate this journey every day. In fact, ADHD is one of the most common developmental conditions in childhood, and symptoms often continue into adolescence and adulthood. The key is understanding what ADHD really is, why it happens, and how we can support our kids (and ourselves) with patience and practical strategies.

Why This Behavior Happens: A Brain-Based Difference

If you're parenting a child with ADHD, it might sometimes feel like you're constantly playing catch-up — with routines, with emotions, with expectations. But here's something important: none of this is your fault, and it’s not your child’s either.

ADHD isn't a result of “bad behavior” or lack of discipline. It's a neurological difference, often inherited, that affects how the brain develops — especially in areas that control attention, planning, and self-regulation. Brain scans show that for kids with ADHD, some regions actually mature a bit more slowly. That means a 7-year-old with ADHD might respond to frustration or distractions more like a 4- or 5-year-old. It's not that they aren't trying — it’s that their brain is on a different timeline.

💡Kids with ADHD don’t lack attention — they often struggle to control where their attention goes.

That’s why they might zone out during homework but focus like a laser on their favorite video game or LEGO set for hours. It’s the same with impulsivity and hyperactivity. These behaviors aren’t intentional — they’re wired in. And the more we understand that, the easier it becomes to respond with compassion instead of confusion or frustration.

There are also different types of ADHD: some kids are mainly inattentive (more daydreamy or distractible), some are more impulsive and physically active, and others show both.

🩵Whatever the type, one common thread runs through it all: kids with ADHD often need extra support with focus, self-control, and organization — not punishment, not shame, just the right kind of tools and understanding.

What To Do In the Moment: Calming the Storm

When ADHD symptoms show up — whether it’s shouting, fidgeting, emotional outbursts, or melting down over small frustrations — it can feel overwhelming. But your response in these moments matters more than you might think.

The most effective place to start? Stay calm. ADHD kids are sensitive to tone, and when we raise our voices, it often makes things worse.

💡A low, steady voice and a calm presence can do wonders. Try gently placing a hand on their shoulder, say their name, and make eye contact before giving directions. It helps pull their attention back to you.

And if they’re mid-tantrum or spiraling, don't rush to lecture — just pause and breathe with them. Sometimes, a shared moment of silence, a few deep breaths, or a shift to a quieter space can make all the difference. Some families teach calming routines like “balloon breaths” or counting to ten — tools that become anchors in chaotic moments.

💬If your child is bursting with energy, offer a quick physical outlet. “Let’s run to the kitchen and back” or “Can you do 10 jumping jacks with me?” is often more effective than a stern “Sit still.”

For younger kids, distraction and redirection can be incredibly useful — pivot their attention to a different task or toy to reset the moment.

And for older kids or teens?

💬If they’ve said something impulsive or inappropriate, you can take a brief break and revisit the moment later: “I know you didn’t mean to hurt anyone. Let’s talk about a better way to say that next time.”

The goal in any tough moment isn’t punishment — it’s regulation. You’re not trying to control your child. You’re showing them how to eventually control themselves.